Despite living in a quite-geeky Man Cave, I am not a big video-game player. I just haven’t taken the time to learn how to play them very well — except Mario Kart’s “Moo Moo Meadows” race track. For some reason, racing around a track avoiding cows comes easily to me. Perhaps from my experience as a TV reporter in rural Yakima, Washington, but I digress.

Since the days of Mario Kart, my boys have moved onto games like Halo. Those games involve a whole different skill set.

Son says, “Mom. Use the left toggle to move, hit “A” to jump and push the button in front to shoot. Oh, and be careful of left trigger. That’s a hand-grenade.”

Me, “OK, got it: toggle, jump, shoot.”

I shot my foot.

Son says, “Mom, LEFT toggle to move, RIGHT toggle to look up or down!”

Me, “OK, left toggle, jump, shoot, up, down.” Rattle ZAP, “I CAN’T MOVE and what’s this “re-spawn” thing I’m waiting for?!”

Son says, “Dad just killed you and you have to re-spawn now.”

Me, with my avatar back in fighting mode again: “Left toggle, jump, shoot, left, left, left. Why am I ONLY MOVING SIDEWAYS?” BANG zap.

Re-spawning.

Up, down, “WHAT?!!!”

Re-spawning.

Toggle, toggle, “A.” “A.” “YIKES!”

Re-spawning. “Left trigger.”

BLAM!

Son says, “Uh- Mom, you just took yourself, AND Dad out with a grenade.”

“Yes. Yes I did.”

I have found my new super game-power. You may take me out, but I’m NOT going down without a fight.

“I am MAMA-KAZI.” Fear me.

This has been an actual conversation in the Man Cave. What’s the Man Cave? Read this.