The case of the pot-roast saboteur

crock-potThe other day in the Man Cave I made pot roast and convinced my finicky teen to eat it by putting it between two slices of bread, “Look, a MEAT SANDWICH!” It was gobbled down. This is not the first time we’ve battled over pot roast, my friends.

When my oldest was in first grade, I headed off to work on a chilly day after lovingly putting the chuck roast, potatoes, carrots and onions into the crock pot. I carefully turned it on low.

It was cold all day.

All day I ran around in the cold, asking the perpetual reporter-cold-weather-question (for the cold weather story), “My, isn’t it cold?” Everyone I interviewed said, “Why YES! It is VERY COLD!” I didn’t worry. Warm tasty pot roast was awaiting me at home.

Finally, I swung open the door (after a long, chilly day). Uh-oh, I thought. Where was the scent of lovely pot roast? Where was the oh-so-sweet-I-can-almost-taste-it scent of carrots and onions!?! Someone had turned OFF the crock pot.

Thankfully, I was momentarily distracted by the blinking light on the answering machine. I pushed the button and a young voice said, “Mom… um… I feel really bad. I smelled something ICKY so I turned off the crock pot. My teacher said I should call and tell you because I feel really bad.” BEEEP. End of message.

Quick. How do I salvage dinner?! I quickly called the poison control center. Me, “I have a pot roast. It’s been in an “off” crock pot since this morning. Can I safely turn the crock pot back on, cook and eat it?” Poison-control operator — completely baffled — “Oh, huh … I’ve never been asked THAT question before. Let me see.“ Having dutifully polling his fellow poison-control operators, he came back on the line, “Well, no one is SURE, but to be SAFE, we advise you not to eat the pot roast.”

Darn.

My husband came home and I began to explain that we have a pot-roast saboteur in our midst. “Honey,” says my hubby, “I don’t think we should jump to conclusions.” “Wait,” I say. “Let’s go to THE CONFESSION.” And I played the little stinker’s message.

Then I picked up said pot-roast-saboteur from the bus.  Needless to say, we did not have pot roast for dinner, but we also did NOT have one of the little guy’s favorite meals. This has been a lesson learned, in the Man Cave:  Do NOT turn off Mommy’s pot roast. AND … if you’re the Mommy, have plenty of bread on hand.

This has been an actual conversation in the Man Cave. What’s the Man Cave? Read this.

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