Working out of town one night, after a VERY long day, I popped into the pub adjacent to the hotel I was staying in for a quick bite to eat. That’s when a man in his late 30’s, early 40’s, losing his hair, but clearly gaining some weight, asked if he could sit at the bar next to me.

”Fine,” I say.

He talked, mostly. I ordered food (you’ll recall this had been a long work day). Funny how that gut instinct kicks-in quickly. I think to myself, hmmm. This guy is, well, someone I do NOT want to talk to. Anymore. Or every again.

“Well, my food’s here,” I say as I start to eat my sandwich.

He’s still hanging around. Asking creepier questions.

I look at the bartender who shoots me a sympathetic look, but clearly cannot help.

That’s when I text the MAN CAVE! For a reference, just imagine Gotham Police Commissioner Gordon picking up the red phone to Bat Man.
“Call me NOW,” I text.

OK. And I also text both of my sisters, but immediately:  Phone rings.

“Oh- look- My HUSBAND is calling me. Hello DEAR!” I say.

“What’s wrong?” Asks hubby from the Man Cave.

“Oh… Nothing?!… “

“Well, when you text ‘call me-“

“RIGHT! I’m just trying to get a little bite to eat here. In the hotel pub-“

“OH! Is some weird dude trying to hit on you?”

“Why YES, honey! It HAS been a LONG DAY….”

A ten minute phone conversation follows … out loud and very animated from me to the Man Cave.

“Good-night honey! LOVE you and our children SO MUCH!” I say.

<Phew> I think.

From the guy next to me, “Now that THAT’S over,” I swear, that is exactly what skee-zee guy says, “Let’s play a word game!”

“Yes, well I need to call it a night!” I say, frantically handing cash to bartender as I longingly look at the sandwich I am abandoning because this is NOT WORTH IT.

“OK,” he says. “Hey- if you’re not gonna finish that, can I have the rest of that?” As God is my witness, that’s what he said.  I nodded, yes. FINE. I’m thinking, TAKE the sandwich. I’m getting OUT OF HERE!

For the record, my sisters called, too – one while I was on the phone with hubby the other right after I made it back to the hotel room.

Lessons learned:

• #1 My Man-Cave hubby is AWESOME.
• #2: My sisters are my “wingmen.”
• #3 From now on, while dining alone, I’m sitting at a table and putting all of my work equipment in the opposite chair. Forever. NO room for company. I really wanted to finish that sandwich.

This has been an actual conversation in the Man Cave. What’s the Man Cave? Read this.

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