Working out of town one night, after a VERY long day, I popped into the pub adjacent to the hotel I was staying in for a quick bite to eat. That’s when a man in his late 30’s, early 40’s, losing his hair, but clearly gaining some weight, asked if he could sit at the bar next to me.
”Fine,” I say.
He talked, mostly. I ordered food (you’ll recall this had been a long work day). Funny how that gut instinct kicks-in quickly. I think to myself, hmmm. This guy is, well, someone I do NOT want to talk to. Anymore. Or every again.
“Well, my food’s here,” I say as I start to eat my sandwich.
He’s still hanging around. Asking creepier questions.
I look at the bartender who shoots me a sympathetic look, but clearly cannot help.
That’s when I text the MAN CAVE! For a reference, just imagine Gotham Police Commissioner Gordon picking up the red phone to Bat Man.
“Call me NOW,” I text.
OK. And I also text both of my sisters, but immediately: Phone rings.
“Oh- look- My HUSBAND is calling me. Hello DEAR!” I say.
“What’s wrong?” Asks hubby from the Man Cave.
“Oh… Nothing?!… “
“Well, when you text ‘call me-“
“RIGHT! I’m just trying to get a little bite to eat here. In the hotel pub-“
“OH! Is some weird dude trying to hit on you?”
“Why YES, honey! It HAS been a LONG DAY….”
A ten minute phone conversation follows … out loud and very animated from me to the Man Cave.
“Good-night honey! LOVE you and our children SO MUCH!” I say.
<Phew> I think.
From the guy next to me, “Now that THAT’S over,” I swear, that is exactly what skee-zee guy says, “Let’s play a word game!”
“Yes, well I need to call it a night!” I say, frantically handing cash to bartender as I longingly look at the sandwich I am abandoning because this is NOT WORTH IT.
“OK,” he says. “Hey- if you’re not gonna finish that, can I have the rest of that?” As God is my witness, that’s what he said. I nodded, yes. FINE. I’m thinking, TAKE the sandwich. I’m getting OUT OF HERE!
For the record, my sisters called, too – one while I was on the phone with hubby the other right after I made it back to the hotel room.
- #1 My Man-Cave hubby is AWESOME.
- #2: My sisters are my “wingmen.”
- #3 From now on, while dining alone, I’m sitting at a table and putting all of my work equipment in the opposite chair. Forever. NO room for company. I really wanted to finish that sandwich.
This has been an actual conversation in the Man Cave. What’s the Man Cave? Read this.
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Loved this! And a very effective use of the “call me” technique normally employed to get out of a bad blind date, by the way.